I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Every concussion has its silver lining
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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