how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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