Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
