I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
