I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
