she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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