if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
