There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
