bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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