Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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