So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
