you guys were way drunker than both of me
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
