I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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