Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
