Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
