Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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