Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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