I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So many bounce houses so little time
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
