what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
