sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
