New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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