question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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