Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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