Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
