Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
