it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
