my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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