her vagine was all disorganized.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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