I think my vagina is haunted
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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