Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
