Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
