Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
