508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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