What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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