his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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