we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
