is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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