It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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