babies were throwing up all over the place
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
