he thought i was a dude.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
