Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
