he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
