There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
