this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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