'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
