I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
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smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
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I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
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