better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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