There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
