You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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