I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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