Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You are a genius and a whore.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize