the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
