At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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