I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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