oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
