Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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