u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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