There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
