her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
