Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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