i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
