waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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